Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Trust and Forgiveness

Sometimes, trust is hard.
I've recently experienced a recent loss of trust. Someone close to me hurt me very much. And right now, I don't feel like trusting that person. I left my thoughts out there, and the person misinterpreted it and ran away with those words, believing a false idea about my character.

Of all things I hate, the thing I hate the most is having someone close to me think that I am something that I'm not. This makes things difficult for me. And now it's really hard for me to forgive that person and trust them with myself again...

Am I so shallow that I can't give this person the credit they deserve? This has been the first time they hurt me deeply. Will they do it a second time? Undoubtedly. The person is a sinner, just like me. No one's perfect. But the person was called to repentance and they said they were sorry. Do I feel like forgiving them? No... I'd rather find fault with them...

I feel like it's a game now, trying to find something that is a fault of the other so that you can use it to manipulate them. To hold it above their head so that they feel sorry for what they did. That way your sins are forgotten when the other person is now in the limelight, so to speak. Then the other person finds a fault... So the vicious cycle goes on and on till both are sick of it... Christians do the same thing. Except they are more subtle at it and use the 'God' card', or the 'holier than thou' approach. "It's been laid upon my heart that I should stop sinning in this area of my life." (Whereas they really haven't been sinning here, but you have been. Quite clever and manipulative, I might add. I've done this before, on several occasions.) I must apologize, because right now it appears that I'm using this post to do the same thing, but seriously I am not trying to do this. I seriously struggle with forgiving others, using the 'God card', and the 'holier than thou' approach.

That's not a Christian way to live, but sometimes that's how I act and feel about things. This is how a Christian is supposed to act: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you." -Ephesians 4:32

Did Christ bring up these sins over again to remind us that we hurt Him? No! Jesus Christ doesn't bring up the dirt over and over again. He calls us to do likewise with each other. It ain't easy, but it's the thing He wants us to do. So now I'm going to throw away the feelings of distrust and anger, and I'm going to forgive and trust once again. It doesn't matter what the person did, I still need to forgive. And in order to grow again in our relationship with one another, in order to forgive, I must trust again. And I'm ready to do that.

This is a song by P.O.D. This is a good song about this issue of trust. I would've included the actual music video, but it has some suggestive content, even though it fits with the message... Sorry about the picture, but that's the album cover...